Happy Talk like a Pirate Day!
I had the most excellent fortune of having this day off from work. And so I spent it neglecting to do the dishes, pay bills, wash my car, or anything else offensively considered "grown-up-ish".
I thought my time and skills could best be put to use by cross dressing.
I present to you 2 costumes, and 2 genders.
But one model.
Interested in how I did it?
Keep reading.
Here is a side by side comparison of my face. On the left, is a very feminized appearance. In the middle, I am my normal (androgynous) self. And on the right, I am channeling my inner Orlando Bloom (which, yes, on this occasion, I will openly admit).
To portray either gender, different parts of the face are accentuated either through make-up, accessories, or even the angle of the camera.
(Before I continue, please note this disclaimer... what works for me and my features may not be perfect for you. Please do not take what I write as the word of God, and always, always experiment so you can see what works for you. I only hope to provide some kind of guidance and inspiration to fellow cosplayers or crazy people)
Now without further ado...
~~FOR A FEMALE FACE~~
1. How to MAKE-UP this bitch:
For a feminine face, there is a LOT of emphasis on the eyes. After blending concealer and foundation, I applied a shade just a tad lighter than my actual skin-tone around my eyes and cheeks. The face should appear VIBRANT and youthful.
Even more emphasis is accomplished through eye-liner, eye-shadow, false eye-lashes (which I did not do here, but will sometimes) and the thinning of the eye-brows, for a cleaner, arched look. The cheeks should appear full and flushed. Blush is useful for this purpose (but only a thin smattering on the "apples" of the cheeks. Don't over-do it, or you'll wind up looking feverish).
And of course, lastly, those ruby red lips. To be a proper whore, its important to call attention to the mouth!
(As a side-note, if you want a step-by-step make-up tutorial, leave me a comment and I can certainly do that. I just realized I'm just whizzing through steps here. Oops.)
2. How to ACCESSORIZE all up in hurr:
I wore big dangly earrings. Why? Well, cause it makes me feel purty. But, it also calls attention to the EYES and MOUTH. Really? Yes, really. Remember: Whore mouth.
In some of the photos, I included a hat. (This is a particularly special hat;
a hand-me-down from the 40's. I realize that not everyone is going to have this. But once I explain its purpose, I'm sure you can find something else suitable.)
This hat has a particular feminine trait, and that is... its
veil. I have short hair, which is usually considered a masculine trait and caused some problems for this. However, the veil extends below my hair-line, causing the eye to follow it. Therefore, it makes it LOOK as though I have longer hair, when I really don't. The same effect can be achieved with a scarf, headband, bandana, or anything else to call attention to your hair, and then drape down.
(see? Earrings. And a fancy hat.)
Necklaces are a good tool to utilize, as it calls attention to the throat and breasts.
For a hair accessory, I wrapped some strands of leather across my brow in a 20's kind of style. This was to pull attention down to my eyes again. I also tucked a flower behind one ear. Because historically speaking, flowers are associated with femininity and womanhood. True Story!
"Hmm, should I shave today?"
3. How to TAKE PICTURES of yoself:
Traditionally in film and photography, a woman's face is shot with the camera hovering above her, angled down. This is to minimize her jaw and accentuate... what? In unison please... Yes, her EYES.
And possibly also her
boobs.
(If you think I'm making this shit up, think about it next time you watch a movie. Then come back and tell me I'm wrong. I DARE YOU.)
I mean, think about all those exaggerated "top-down" photos girls take on facebook and myspace. You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
~~~NOW THE FEMALE BODY~~
1. First things FIRST
I know what you're thinking...
Boobies.
If you are female to begin with and are looking to be more femme in appearance, there are several ways to go about accentuating "the girls".
Here is my dirty secret for these photos: I used medical grade sports tape on my small chest to get some much needed cleavage here. YES, I TAPED 'EM TOGETHER. Did it hurt? Well that is for me to know and for you to NOT find out. (aka, don't do it unless you are desperate or crazy, or, say, desperately crazy like I am.)
If this is something you still want to do despite my warnings, I just need to say one more thing. Only do it for special occasions such as a photoshoot, a theatrical appearance, the renaissance festival, etc, etc. Why, you ask? Because over time it could really cause some injury to your fun-bags, and we don't want that. I only had the tape on for 2 hours, tops, and my skin was already very sore. If I were to do this every day, it could result in decreased blood-flow to my chest, and tears in my skin, and nipples. Yes, you heard me. NIPPLES. Now wince and cringe and promise me you won't do it.
(How about them apples? Even though it sucked pulling the tape off, it really did a fine job)
For a more comfortable approach, you can wear padded bras, or even paint a little cleavage on. A slightly darker shade of foundation between the boobs is fun to experiment with. Once again...I wouldn't do it everyday, but it works for simple photoshoots.
If you are male and boob-less to begin with, getting cleavage is going to be tough. For a quick photoshoot, it might be good to stuff a bra and cover it with a shirt until you can afford one of those high-end latex pairs that drag queens are so fond of. As a side option, you can layer on necklaces or wear fluffy or patterned shirts, merely to draw the eye DOWN to the chest. That, in itself in a feminine feat.
For example, in this photo, I'm still fairly flat-chested. However, I have a necklace strategically positioned over where the cleavage would be, if I had some. And so guess what? Now you're thinking about cleavage.
BAM. I appear female to you.
2. Now that we have THAT under control...
...Let's talk about the overall appearance and posture. The ideal female form is hourglass in shape. Girls also tend to have smaller, more rounded than shoulders than men. Wider hips. Bigger asses.
All of this is important to keep in mind when portraying a character on stage, for a photoshoot, in a movie, or say, when you're impersonating the president's wife. So below I have listed some guidelines on how to further enhance your "female experience."
A. Carry yourself almost in a "sulky" fashion. Shoulders drawn up to minimize their appearance and show off them titties.
B. Suck in your gut for more of the hourglass look. This can be helped by a belt around the middle, a little above the belly-button, or by wearing clothes that have a waist-line built into them.
C. Keep your chin down, and look at the camera with puppy dog eyes. But like... sexy puppy dog eyes. As fucked up as that sounds. But you know what I mean. Pouty lips and all.
D. Put a hand on your hip, and cock your weight to one side. Yes, you heard me. I said cock.
E. Sway your hips as you walk. Put one foot almost directly in front of the other, like you're on a catwalk. Find your rhythm and stick with it.
Obviously, these are more "guidelines" than actual rules, but I find them useful.
In this photo, I have my shoulders drawn up, my weight shifted, hand on hip, and complete with a smirk.
And so now I'm a girl.
Ta Da! Mission accomplished.
~~For the MALE FACE~~
1. MAKE-UP like Johnny Depp:
Forget all of the rules about the girl make-up and turn it upside down. The male-face is primarily focused on the JAW.
To start, I pulled back my hair, pulled out some pieces around my ears for make-shift side-burns and gelled it all in place . I then applied the usual thin, thin layer of foundation. From there, I sponged on a darker shade around my jaw, my mouth, a little around my nose, my eyebrows, throat, and the indentation of my cheeks, underneath my cheekbone, to make my face look a little longer and more hollowed. I blended the same color into the crevices of my chin to make it more prominent and then roughly sponged it onto my chest to create the illusion of hair.
(Here is what the make-up looked like on my cheeks, half-way through the blending process)
Afterwards, I added a lighter shade to the tops of my cheeks, the front of my nose, and my lips (to make them more skin-tone, and less noticeable.... because now we definitely don't want the whole "whore mouth" thing).
I took a dark brown eyebrow pencil to my eyebrows to thicken them up. I also added a little facial hair to my upper lip and then below the bottom lip, for what some would call a "soul patch".
And here we are, all finished. Ignore my goofy face and check out my chest hair!
I spent some time binding my breasts so that I could wear a shirt like this without any hint of boob, and I will cover how I did it later in this article.
2. How to DRESS AND IMPRESS:
Collared shirts are great when portraying a guy. It covers my already small shoulders, my girl-ish neck, and I can button up or button down for different appearances. Because I wanted to be a suave lookin' pirate, I went with the open-chest look.
Also, long sleeves are important. Why? Because the typical male and female does not actually share the same skeleton. There are minor differences in bone structure, and one of those minor differences is in the elbows.Women's arms, when down by the side, form an ever-so-slightly bent angle. For men, however, the entire arm-length is straight. To avoid drawing attention to any of this, I find it best to just cover my arms with loose-fitted sleeves.
Vests and coats are good too; they further hide the female form, and draw attention to the shoulders.
3. How to SHOOT YOURSELF in the face:
...with a camera. CAMERA.
Put the gun down.
Remember all the stuff I said about shooting a female face, with the camera angled down? For a dude, it's opposite day. Because, as I said earlier, its all about the JAW.
Once again, this phenomenon is prominent in film. I'll show some examples from older films below:
The camera is actually about his chest level, looking up at him. This is to imply dominance. The fact that you can see a whole lot of ceiling behind him should say something.
Now if you still think I'm crazy, compare that photo with this one:
See? No ceiling here. Notice the triangular shape of her face, the way her chin is pointed away, and the focus is on her forehead and eyes. And, er, boobs.
Now here is how I applied it:
(Chin tilted up, camera angled below, hair slicked back... and feeling like a handsome devil)
~~The MALE BODY~~
1. How to hide BOOBS:
Sports bras are great. I use that when I'm not showing my chest, in cosplays. I know some who use ace-bandages, but that shit can slip out of place so quickly, I don't think its worth it. So, my pro-tip of the day: sports bras, with lots of layering.
Or you can do what I did for this shoot, which, sadly, involves more medical grade sports tape (and remember all of the medical warnings I used about decreased blood-flow, chafing, skin-tearing, restricted breathing, and all that jazz).
To do what I did and get a real flat-chested look, its best to pull the girls to the side, and tape them so they're almost under your armpits. Depending on how big or dense your breasts are, this can be achieved easily or it could take extra help, like a binder.
I am a B cup, and had no difficulty in hiding my breasts. I could wear my shirt pretty damn low and unbuttoned, as you can see here.
If you are interested and would like to read more, check out these articles:
2. How to STAND LIKE A MAN:
Much like I provided a handful of guidelines for the female side, I'll provide some here, to help you get into character, understand movement, posture, and stance.
A. Guys have...dangly bits between their legs. So if you're a girl and trying to walk like a dude, try packing with some socks until you get the hang of it. Don't cross your legs when you sit down. Don't sway your hips when you walk. Put your weight in your feet, and stride with pride.
B. Keep your chin up and slightly look down onto people. This is again, like the film technique we talked about, a subconscious way to imply dominance.
C. Keep your shoulders down, and flat, to broaden them.
D. Leave your hands by your side, loose, when you walk or stand. Or better yet, just stick 'em in your pockets, or cross them over your chest.
E. Resist the urge to cock a hip and put a hand on one side. Guys don't... do that.
So there you have it! Go forth and cross-dress and pillage and swashbuckle and sail into the sunset. Hope you enjoyed this tutorial.
